Time is your friend

Like many people I’m getting to that age where the odd grey hair is beginning to appear. I’m not as young or slim as I used to be. But in truth I don’t mind because a wealth of memories belongs to those years that have passed and I wouldn’t want to give up a single one.
It makes me smile when people say they’d like to be a teenager again. I wouldn’t. I loved being a teenager but it was in a time and place so different from now, that it couldn’t be recreated again. Teenagers today deal with a far more aggressive lifestyle than I did. Thanks to the wonders of technology they are bombarded with social pressures and expectations, every waking hour of the day.
I loved my twenties and thirties and relished the challenges of motherhood. Nothing in the world could make me be willing to give up one of those days and now in my forties I have time to try new things for myself and there’s my beautiful grandchildren to get to know.
So the next time you look in the mirror and see a new line on your face or a bit of skin sagging, that didn’t before. Smile, congratulate yourself. You’ve made it this far along your unique journey through life and you’ve still got a long way to go. Time is your friend, welcome it, its only got new and exciting experiences for you to share.

Music for the soul

Music can touch parts of us that nothing else can reach. In the same way as poetry and literature, lyrics can shape ideas and form integral parts of our self identity.
I believe we all have a soundtrack for our lives that expresses how we approach life and its challenges. The songs we pick say alot about our inner self and our hopes and dreams.
I’ve found myself resonating with many songs during my life but these are a few of the most influential lyrics for me.
The first three come from my favorite band Bon Jovi and sum up my attitude to life and its challenges.
Better stand tall when they’re calling you out. Don’t bend, don’t break, baby, don’t back down. It’s my life and its now or never. (It’s my life)
I’m gonna live my life shining like a diamond, rolling like a dice, standing on the edge I teach the wind how to fly and when the world gets in my face, I say have a nice day. (Have a nice day)
When your world’s crashing down like you’ve lost every round, stand your ground and ring the bells of Freedom. (Bells of Freedom)
The last is important to me because it reminds me of the values my mother taught me and it expresses the love and confidence I wanted to pass on to my own children.
When I feel weak and unpretty I know I’m beautiful and strong because I see myself like my mother does. ( like my mother does by Lauren Alaina)
Why not have a look at your own soundtrack and see what it says about who you are. You may be surprised to discover your braver and stronger than you think.

Just Me

I’ve had a number of people comment that I don’t write as though I have a degree. I have in fact a degree in psychology and studied English literature at
degree level but I don’t write like a graduate for a very simple reason, its not the sum total of who I am. It’s just one small facet of me. I’m a Yorkshire girl born and bred and im proud of my accent.
I’m a wife, a mother and step mother to a group of fantastic individuals and I’m a Nana to ten amazing children that I love with all my heart.
I’m also a friend, a horse rider, an animal lover, a writer, and a personal development coach.
I love to read, to sing, dance, walk, paint and ride. I’m a loyal friend and a nasty enemy. I’m quick to laugh and have a blazing temper. I’m enthusiastic, loud and opinionated. All those things along with many more are a part of me.
Writing for me is a form of self expression. I want to connect with people and have them know that my thoughts are mine, straight from the heart. Not hide behind complex sentences and a stale crusty academic style.
So love me or hate me, I’m the girl from Yorkshire who wants to help make the world a better place. In my own style, using my own voice.

Letting go of pain and regret

Have you had or are in a relationship that causes you pain? Do you regret the time you’ve put in to being with someone? Pain and regret are two of the hardest feelings to cast aside, but they are also two of the most destructive if you hang on to them.
I don’t necessarily believe you have to forgive to let go. Sometimes forgiveness is impossible. What you need to do is accept the situation. Take what knowledge you can, so that you can spot potential similarities in future relationships and then let it go.
It may help to make a list of the things that have caused you pain and regret before you do this, to help focus your mind.
Find a warm, comfortable, safe place. Play soothing music if it helps you to relax. Then close your eyes and breath deeply. Allow every part of your body to relax and clear your mind. Once your relaxed visualise your pain one item at a time and see yourself pushing it out of your body and away from you. Disown it and cast it from your mind. Continue until you get to the end of your list.
Once you’ve finished fill your mind with positive thoughts and memories until you feel at peace.
It make take a few goes because its a difficult skill to learn but definately worth the effort.

Closure

There are many times in our lives when we require closure to be able to move forward with our lives. Sometimes its possible to talk to the other person involved, but at other times it isn’t, so what then?
Here’s a few ideas that might help you reach a period of acceptance.
1: imagine the other person is there and talk to them. This often works better if you’re looking at a photo or something they have given you.
2: write it all down. It’s often easier to get out what’s in your heart on paper.
3: write goodbye on a balloon and set it free.
4. Burn an item belonging to them as a symbolic release.
The most important thing to remember about the closure process is that you have to let go. Allow the pent up feelings to be released by the words or actions. Everyone has their own individual way of saying goodbye, whether it be to a job, a person, a relationship or a pet. There is no right or wrong. Take your time. Try to focus on positive memories because focusing on the loss and pain can become very corrosive over time.
Allow yourself to embrace something new. Build up your hobbies and interests, develop your social life to fill the void left by your loss.
Most of all be kind to yourself. You will know when you’re ready to let go.

power of positive thought

Have you ever noticed how some people appear to cruise through life without a care in the world?
Its often due to mental attitude. The ability to see all the positives in life stronger than the negatives.
If the positives are strongest in your minds eye then regardless of the days stresses it will still be a good day.
For most of us its hard to see past the daily grind. The mind tends to dwell on responsibilities rather than small successes. Fortunately its possible to train your mind to change the way it reacts to daily stress.
Start by listing three things that have gone right for a week. These can be as small as matching socks or getting out of bed. Then gradually build it up until the daily list is twenty items.
By this time you should start feeling like a winner too.