Perceptions of rejection

There are many kinds of rejection,  both real and imagined,  that can seriously damage your self esteem and cause you to view yourself from a false reality.

The first thing to understand in dealing with rejection is that you have no control over someone elses thoughts,  opinions or actions.  The only thing you control is your own response. So with that in mind,  here’s a few simple steps towards taking back your power.

1. Try and view the other person objectively,  without emotions involved.  What is going on in their life?  Did what they say really involve you or was it a reaction towards their own life.

2. Were drugs or alcohol involved?  Both can seriously affect the mood and behaviour of an individual.  For long term substance abusers,  often nothing matters more than taking the substance, money for more substance and getting more substance.  Its an obsessive cycle with no room left over for the feelings or needs of others.

3. Evaluate the situation impartially.  What were the factors involved?  How did you contribute to the exchange? If you had done or said something differently would the outcome have been the same?

If the answer is Yes,  the situation is what it is,  then you need to decide how you are going to move forward.  You could accept it and give it no more thought or alternatively you could get your thoughts out,  either on paper or by imagining the other person is there.  Since they will never know what you think.  Dont hold back,  let it all out,  say all the things that have been going round in your head.

Once you’re done,  take several deep breaths and let it go.  Don’t give anyone the power to ruin your life.  The only rejection worth keeping is the one where you reject negative feelings and embrace the positive.

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