Reflections on love

I write about love all the time but how often do any of us have time to stop and reflect and be grateful for the relationships in our lives.
I am amazingly lucky to have found my perfect match. He is far beyond anything I could have imagined, his finest quality is his ability to love without reservation. That’s not something many people including myself can do. I have a multitude of conditions tied to my own ability to give love, including attitude, appearance and behaviour. Strangely enough those conditions don’t extend to my children. With them i find it easy to love unconditionally. Unlike my relationship with my partner it doesn’t matter what they say or do my love remains undiminished.
The same can be said for my pets. My three puppies are going through a seriously destructive phase. Including the destruction of two sofas, miles of wallpaper, curtains, shoes, not to mention wires, toys and a multitude of other stolen items but none of it matters, my love for them remains unaltered.
Which I why I wonder why relationships between men and women can’t be expressed in the same way. Why do we quit when things aren’t perfect? Why do we expect so much more from a partnership than any other relationship in our life?
I believe the answer is because we can. Literature and movies have produced the idea of a perfect relationship which we’re all now endlessly searching for, whilst callously disguarding anyone who doesn’t match up to our own idea of perfection. Is this a bad thing? I’m not all together sure, but I do wonder if we we’re able to love a partner with the same unconditional love as a child, would it be easier to find and keep that perfect love?

No gaurentees

img_20150906_154908.jpgWe are all lead to believe that parents automatically feel an overwhelming sense of love and responsibility for their offspring.  However this is simply not true.  Throughout the world there are multiple examples,  both human and animal,  of parents who feel nothing at all towards their offspring.  So what happens if you’re the recipient of this lack of maternal or paternal care?

It is perfectly normal to feel a sense of rejection,  to be filled with insecurities,  that you are in some way lacking.  Many people’s whole lives are damaged by a lack of parental concern,  but it’s time to take your life back.

1. Try to view yourself as a seperate entity from your parent.

2. Examine who they are as a person. Are they self envolved?  Emotionally damaged? Drug or alcohol dependant?  Emotionally retarded?  There could be a million reasons for their behaviour,  once you start to critically evaluate the situation you will begin to understand that it is all about them and nothing to do with you.

3. Build up your self confidence in who you are as an individual.

4. Make a list of your own qualities.  If you find it difficult to do ask someone you trust to help.

5. This is the most important point,  believe you are worthy of love.  The most damaging aspect of careless parents is that the recipient believes they are worthless and subconciously gravitates towards people who treat them badly.  Which in turn reinforces the idea.

Unfortunately we cannot choose who our parents are,  but you can choose how much power their behaviour has on your future.  So today is your day,  take your power back.