Never give up on your children.

I am very lucky to be part of a large complicated family, made up from several relationships, with a mix of siblings and half siblings and step children. This experience, whilst often being very trying taught me one very valuable lesson. Under no circumstances do you ever give up on your children.

They are your choice and responsibility for a lifetime. Sometimes they can drive you crazy, sometimes they make dangerous, stupid decisions. Sometimes you could happily murder them, but ultimately you are the person they should be able to depend on. You’re the one safe haven available as they try to negotiate their way through the world. 

1. Always try to keep communication open. I personally believe in being honest with my children and being willing to discuss any subject. If they grow up being able to talk about anything, then hopefully when they have a problem they will feel able to tell you.

2. Be honest about what kind of person they are and love them anyway.

3. Accept their life choices are not necessarily the same as your.

4. Always be on their side. I am the first to tell my kids if I think they are in the wrong , but I never side against them . Ultimately right or wrong they’re mine.

5. Tell them you love them and that your proud of them . Everyone needs to know they’re wanted .

6. Enjoy them , they are your family .

 

Advertisements

Take responsibility!

I constantly hear the phrase ‘ why does it happen to me’ and I have to say I find it infuriating. On the whole we do not drift through life on a whim, the things that happen are usually a direct response to our own behaviour. I’m not saying you can take responsibility for everything but it is time to take responsibility for the things that you can .

Being in a relationship takes work. If you allegedly love someone then you have a responsibility to take their thoughts and feelings in to account. The minute you offer someone a commitment then you are not free to do as you please . You should make adjustments to your lifestyle and if you’re not prepared to then be honest , you don’t love them. You cannot treat someone like a convenience and then be surprised when they don’t stick around .

If you have children then that is the biggest responsibility you will ever have. They didn’t choose to be born, you chose to have them so their health, happiness and wellbeing is your responsibility for a lifetime. They do come before partners, friends, hobbies, your social life and everything else. If you’re short of money then their needs must come first. If you cannot do that then you shouldn’t have children.

Life is a long series of decisions, which once made you have to live with the consequences. So instead of weeping and wailing, face up to  it, enjoy it, but most importantly take charge, own your decision and take the responsibility to build the life you actually want.

Beauty comes from within.

‚Äč

Having just been trolled by a  hilarious personal trainer who believes I’m too fat and stupid to survive without paying for his help, I want to share what I have learned about beauty.

I was a typical slim, energetic child who grew up into a very slim teenager, with curves that even the kardashians would have envied. This continued on until my twenties   when a combination of long term health problems and bad reactions to medication gave me the figure I have today. Throughout that experience the interesting thing I discovered is that most people don’t notice the change in body type, what they notice is how confident and comfortable you are with your self. 

The thing that is actually beautiful is not a perfect face or a particular body type, it’s the ability to accept your self and enjoy life. Now I’m not for a minute saying that having an unhealthy lifestyle is a good idea, because we all know it’s not, but learning to appreciate your self is more important.

Try following these few short rules to see how much more attractive you become :

1. Stand naked in front of a mirror and look at all your good features. Everyone has them . You might have good skin, nice eyes, a great smile, what ever they are it’s time to make the most of them.

2. Consider your bad points , can you change them? And more importantly are you willing to put in  the effort to  do so? If you’re not then it’s time to accept they are part of you and stop fixating on them.

3. Stop worrying about other people’s opinions. Everyone is different, that’s what makes people interesting. Just because some marketing expert has decided to make a particular style fashionable ( no doubt for profit ) doesn’t mean that everyone else is no longer beautiful .

4. Learn to wear clothes that make you feel good and not what’s fashionable .

5. The last and most important rule, learn to love and accept yourself . No one is going to find you attractive if you live your life like an apology . You are unique , be proud.

Everyone is beautiful to someone but first you have to be beautiful to your self .