Letter to a first time mum


We all imagine that getting pregnant will be the most exciting, perfect time of our lives. The media is full of super glamorous women, having naked, perfect pictures taken to commemorate the event, looking confident, sexy and alluring.
So is it really like that? No, probably not for most of us mere mortals. I’d like to say right now, I hope you are one of those women for whom pregnancy is a pleasure, but don’t worry if you’re not.
For most of us, you’re fat, it’s uncomfortable and you look a mess. Waddling around like a weeble with legs, I could not have been less sexy if I’d tried.
Then there’s the sickness, stretch marks, weird food cravings and constant needing the toilet and with out a large budget I doubt many people look good in maternity clothes either. But that’s OK, its only for nine short months, (believe me the last couple are going to feel like years.)
Then you finally have your long awaited perfect baby. Your body will spring back in to shape, love will flow, your libedo will spring back to life and everything will be perfect, Right? Not bloody likely, springs to mind.
You actually have a somewhat saggy stomach, (unless you’re really lucky,) plus the extra pounds you put on by eating too much,(blame it on the pregnancy munchies) and your very own miniature slave driver, who will make demands at every hour of the day and night in a pitch somewhat similar to an air raid alarm.
As for sexy, well if you can manage on no sleep, don’t mind the smell of dirty nappies or regurgitated milk. Are able to ignore the rapidly growing washing pile (you wouldn’t believe how many clothes a baby can go through in one day), the mucky pots in the sink and the fact your leaking like a cow, then hey you might feel up for a bit of fun. Just remember lying down and closing your eyes is fatal. Instant sleep occurs.
By now I guess you might be feeling a little disheartened. Don’t be, because although the reality of motherhood bares little to no resemblance to a Hollywood block buster, the truth is there isn’t anything in the world more perfect than the first time your child looks in to your eyes and smiles.
Motherhood is a journey in to the most amazing adventure of your life. Look for the humour in every situation and jump on board, arms wide, heart open and get ready for the ride of your life.
I don’t wish you perfection, because motherhood isn’t perfect. It’s exhausting, frustrating, messy and the about to be the best experience of your life.
Good luck (you’ll need it)


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